Unmasking is not like unrobing or undressing. It is not done in one sitting or completed in one attempt. Real unmasking takes time. Like many other needful and relevant steps taken toward a future of healing, wholeness, and hope – it’s a painful process. The first step to unmasking is to admit the face looking back at you in the mirror is not you, but another one of your representatives.
How do we get masked in the first place? What causes one to cover up or conceal? There are many reasons why, but usually a traumatic or painful episode can cause one to take an emotional retreat inside oneself never to return and as a result mask after mask is created – not only as a covering for the internal hurt, but as a wall blocking outside solutions – much like how a vine slowly covers a fence but soon conceals the entire house.
QUESTION: What do you do when you are wearing a mask and don’t even know it.
Depression for me was a norm. It was what I felt and believed everyone felt. It was a deep, crying on the inside sadness that lingered continually despite efforts to heal and feel better. I realized after I became an adult that dying inside was not what everyone was doing….then why was I?
So, after taking inventory of my hurts, accomplishments, trauma experiences, and life changes I began to put things in context, to make what I was feeling make sense.
OK, so that’s why I’m broken.
That’s why I’m insecure.
That’s why I’m different.
That’s why I’m living in an emotional cave.
That’s why……
Taking inventory helped me to understand my immediate challenges with depression but it also helped me to begin to create the (mis)labels that would later define me, and the truth I told myself. I knew why I was broken but that didn’t give me the right to call myself broken, or worse to continue live like it. I knew why I was insecure, but that was my label, not God’s.
I had placed myself in a pool of new understanding, yet while at the same time drowning who I was meant to be; who I was destined to be.
A big part of unrobing (unmasking) is to take away the labels you have given yourself, because as long as you wear them, you hinder your ability to heal.
Take the labels off. Then take the mask off and watch your own transformation unfold.
Until next time, Be free.
Demetrice
XoXo
Please share comments below!
After a while, i had accepted the fact that I was smart and that was my norm. I was liked because I was smart (at least I thought so), and as long as I felt smart I felt good and could conquer anything. The problem I ran into was that there were some things being smart didn’t fix. And when I couldn’t fix things with my intelligence I would go home and crawl in a hole. It was then that I realized that i had been wearing a mask; I did that well.
Thanks for your powerful and insightful comment. Yes, we learn to function well in our own dysfunctional circumstances. Smart-ness as a mask seemed powerful until you encountered a situation that ‘disqualified’ your smarts. If we understand our labels early, then we won’t wear them so proudly, later to become devastated when they no longer work. WHOLENESS in Christ is the key and is surely always enough.
We become experts at functioning in dysfunctional situations and soon our norm becomes so blurred we don’t know what ‘normal’ is anymore. Wearing masks feels empowering but once we realize the work to keeping them in place, we learn they are more baggage than benefit. Thank you for sharing; your story and healing journey matters.
Elder Demetrice: Thank God for your obedience, to him When I see you I think about the first commandment, (Love god with All Your might and all your heart) inorder for us to this we must know him spend time with him, by studying his words, I know u have done that, you know his words, and you walk in his words, I have learned, we go through things for other people, you taught that one Saturday I believe, but I’m just now going through it, God have you here for others , because you can do things your way, and it can’t be imitated by anyone. I truly thank God for u, there has been times, I needed answers, and didn’t even ask the question, and you answer, in my sinful days , I was depress, and I thought I knew it when I saw it, this time it snuck up on me, in the time I was getting ready for Church, prayed up and all. This is just the spirit inside of me speaking now( I truly believe you went through your depression, for me, and (CREEPING VINE) NOW I’M WALKING IN VICTORY, NEVER LOOKING BACK, I CAN TAKE IT WITH ME AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE THAT CAN USE IT, LIKE YOU GAVE IT TO ME. KEEPING IT MOVING. LOVE YOU SISTER.
Thank you so much for sharing so openly. Our pain is hurtful TO us but it in not FOR us. You are a strong woman who has experienced much and seen much and although your time of processing feels difficult, know that you are coming out and you will have a strong victory cry that others will hear and receive!
In the dungeon of depression lye dragons of deception! For many, many years I did’nt know there was any other way to feel. I certainly had enough reasons to justify the continuous cycle of crying, suicide attempts, and finding other means of escape through drug, alcohol, and fixing my outside world (me, home, work). But the more I did and the older I became the deeper the dungeon became. And with no malicious intent, people would say things that would make me believe that I did’nt deserve to be happy. (At least that’s what I heard) And with all certainty there is a physical manifestation that would hold on to the spirit of the words spoken to me and the one’s I spoke to myself. Honestly, I put the real mask on, when I entered the church or maybe I needed to figure out what mask I needed to make it in this new normal.
But, God! Inch by inch He pulled me out of the bed I made in what I consider to be a taste of hell, and brought me the right people, teaching, medication, and a prayer life that made it worth it all. I’m so grateful that even when I would back track to the familiar what the Lord gave me a taste of, was far greater and as the Master Sergeon that He is my heart and mind have been carefully touched by His hand being healed and made whole.
My infirmity was so great, yet His hand so delicate. My darkness was so deep but His light is so precise. Intricately sewing me back togeather through His engrafted word is a continuous process and know that with each piece He is putting me back togeather the way He remembers me. My scars are not for all to see, because of how He cleansed me in the secret place I can’t even begin to articulate. I just know that every day since first day I recognized Him, I began to see who I’m supposed to be.
Thanks for sharing your heart and allowing your healing journey to encourage others, as it surely has. It’s hard at times to articulate what our ‘dungeon’ experiences are like, but as we grow through each one, we realize we were not alone. I encourage your continued freedom and mask-less living as you allow the healing of heaven to guide your process towards wholeness. Thanks for sharing your voice and joining a relevant and continuing dialogue. You matter. Period.